Not What You'd Expect
by knowhere
Summary: Literati. Awkwardness isn’t a requirement of the morning after. This one isn’t filled with halting pauses and lingering looks. AU. I Have Never sequel.


**Not What You'd Expect**

Author: Knowhere

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: Nothing.

AN: This makes references to I Have Never...so refresh if you need.

This could not have been without Asa. Thank you.

Summary: Literati. Awkwardness isn't a requirement of the morning after. This one isn't filled with halting pauses and lingering looks. AU. _I Have Never_ sequel.

---

_In both their eyes, they dare each other to make the first move._

---

He's the first to look away, not in embarrassment, but in practicality. He searches the ground for his boxers and when he scoops them up, he hands her the discarded bra that became tangled with his clothes. She takes it and slips her arms through. She watches him shift his hips to pull the boxers on, all done in silence. They sit on the bed, covers pooled around their waists, arms and legs otherwise bare. She crosses her legs and tucks them beneath her like a child. He idly scratches his forearm and runs his hand through his bed hair. All of a sudden, he barks out a laugh. "Well, that was…"

She can't help but join in with giggles. "Yeah."

He looks at her, unashamed in his obvious efforts to check her out. "We've never done that before."

She shakes her head. "Nope." She pauses and a cheeky grin appears. "Remind me again why we never did that?"

"Beats me."

She sighs. "So, what now?"

He looks over and answers in a matter of fact tone of voice. "We get dressed. Eat breakfast. Say goodbye and go about our normal lives."

She smiles. "Sounds like you've got everything planned out."

"Did you expect more?" He cocks his head to the side. "This was…_great_ and all. Really, last night ranks high on the list. But…you're not looking for more." He stops. "Are you?"

With a determined shake of her head, she assures him. "No. I'm not. I was depressed last night and you were there. I'm glad it was you. Not that I would have jumped into bed with just anyone…" She trails off.

He smirks. "Yeah. Good thing it was me and not Kirk, yeah?"

She wrinkles her nose. "Gross."

"Well, I'm glad to have been of service." He chuckles softly.

"Tipping not included?" She asks devilishly.

He shakes his head at the woman she's become. More self-assured, less caring of what the world thinks. He loves it. "Of course not. Typically, I require twenty-four hours notice. I had to bump a rich old lady for you."

Flopping back onto the bed with laughter, she rolls onto her side and looks up at him. "Terribly sorry."

Taking a moment, he rests his weight on one forearm and reaches down to brush a fallen piece of hair from her forehead. Laying a gentle kiss in return on her cheek, he whispers. "Thanks for last night."

She smiles. "Ditto."

---

Showered, shaved, and dressed, he waits in the room, not bothering to hide or play games with her. He hears her in the shower, and idly he flips on the television to see what's on. Reruns of _I Love Lucy_ play across the screen, and he sits down on the bed to tune in. The bathroom door opens, and she steps into the room clad in only a towel. Surprise registers on her face as she sees him there, but she downplays it. "You're still here."

He turns. "I thought we were getting breakfast."

"Yeah. Sure." She grabs the rest of her clothes off the floor. "Let me get dressed." She reappears a couple minutes later, pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

He shuts off the television and stands. "Ready?"

"Yeah." She opens the door and without thinking, he rests his hand protectively on her lower back as they step through. She tilts her head sideways to look at him. "You going back to New York today?"

He shrugs as they descend the stairs. "Yeah, guess so. Wedding's over. I've got work to do. You?"

"Yeah, I think I'll head back to Boston." She considers it for a moment. "I was going to stick around for a couple of days, but I don't think so."

"You have vacation days?"

She nods. "Yeah, some. But maybe I should save them for something else. I mean, Mom's not here and all. No real reason for me to hang around Stars Hollow without her."

He smirks. Years ago, he imagined that this girl would cling to her small hometown. Now, she can't wait to get back to her own city. "Guess not."

Padding into the inn's expansive kitchen, they find themselves quite alone. Opening the fridge, she peeks inside and speaks absentmindedly. "Looks like everyone's still sleeping or recovering from last night. There are plenty of leftovers. You want some?"

"Yeah, sure." He pulls out one of the stools and sits at the center island. It's the same spot where they were last night.

She brings over a container wrapped in foil, and peels back the top to reveal cold pasta shells. "These were great. Did you have them at the reception?"

"Don't think so." He spears some with the fork she hands him. Chewing slowly, he nods in appreciation. "Sookie, right?"

"Of course." She smiles and walks over to one of the cabinets. Returning, she takes a seat next to him and hands him a bottle of water. "Here." She gestures for him to open his hand and deposits two aspirins.

He smirks. "Thanks." He returns one to her and at her questioning look, he replies. "I don't really have a hangover. One's enough."

She nods and takes two for herself. "It's been a while since I've drank like that."He acknowledges her statement but doesn't reply. They settle themselves in silence, mutually eating pasta at a leisurely pace. Her head pops up in curiosity. "Wait. You have a tattoo. You told me last night."

He smirks but keeps his silence.

"Did I see it? Was I _that_ out of it?"

He chuckles. "Dunno. It didn't seem like you were that out of it. You certainly seemed very _into_ it last night." He leers at her.

She smiles back. "I missed my chance, didn't I? You're not going to tell me what it is now, are you?"

"Nope." He answers very simply.

"Damn."

He grins and reaches over to touch her face casually. Just as quick as he touched her, he pulls back. "Speaking of last night, are you okay?" His voice drops an octave.

"I think so."

"Good." He looks away and takes another forkful of pasta shells. With his mouth full, he offhandedly asks. "You seeing someone?"

She stops eating. "No. You?"

He glances at her. "I wouldn't have slept with you if I was." His reply is poignant and pointed, but without accusation.

"Right." She takes a sip of water and turns to face him fully. "You've turned out all right. You're a good man, Jess."

He heard her, but doesn't react. He absorbs her praise but brushes it off in humility. "You're not so bad yourself." She scoffs slightly and the noise catches his attention. He twists his torso to gaze at her. "You're not as screwed up as you might think. You're a lot more normal than you admit."

She smiles. "Yeah? You think so?"

"I know so." He pauses and smirks. "I wouldn't have slept with you if I thought you were a basket case."

She tilts her head. "Well, thank you. I think."

"Welcome." He's being entirely serious.

---

A half-empty container sits between the two of them while they chat; occasionally taking sips out of their respective water bottles. She holds up her hand to stop him. "Wait. So, you live alone? In Manhattan?"

He smirks. "Surprised?"

"Honestly? Yeah. How can you afford it? Luke's told me that it's a pretty cool place. High ceilings and all."

He ignores her question and rebounds with one of his own. "You talk to Luke about me?" He raises his eyebrow.

She blushes, color high on her cheeks. "Sometimes."

"Yeah?"

"I still like to know how you're doing."

He pauses, as if considering his next statement. "You can always call me, you know."

"No, I didn't know." She looks at him. "It's just…we've always been so complicated. I didn't think it would help if I just called to shoot the breeze."

He squints. "We're not complicated, are we?"

"Are you kidding?" She laughs. "We broke each other's hearts when we were kids, had some pretty awkward meetings after that, and now…we don't see each other for years and suddenly we sleep together at the wedding of my mother and your uncle? You don't call that complicated?"

"No. I call that 'us.' But the fact that neither of us tried to sneak out this morning unnoticed must mean something, right?"

"Maybe it means we're adults."

He snickers. "Scary thought."

"That's for sure."

---

They each have their packed bags at their feet. Standing in front of each of their cars, they have their hands in their pockets, waiting for the other to say something first. He makes the first move. "Well, it was nice seeing you." He rolls his eyes at himself. "As lame as I just made that sound, I mean it."

She grins. "Yeah, I know. It's been too long."

He wraps his arms around her for a hug. She holds on and they stand there together, arms entwined for just a brief moment. He pulls back but doesn't let go of her. Smoothing down her hair, he smiles. "Take care of yourself."

"You too. You're far too skinny. That, I do remember from last night."

They step back and he looks down at his shoes with a lopsided smile gracing his features. "It's called lanky. Not skinny."

She shakes her head. "Nope. You need some meat on those bones. You'd think a best selling author would have enough money to eat."

He shrugs. "I like the starving artist look."

"Just…take care." She echoes his previous sentiment.

He nods and lets the subject drop. Taking another step back, he smirks. "It's been a pleasure, Gilmore." Turning his back before she can really reply with anything else besides a smile, he hits the unlock button on the remote controller for his car. He hears the quickening of steps approaching and rotates just enough to see her coming up to him.

"Jess. Wait."

"Yeah?" He sets his bag inside the car.

"I uh…" She gnaws on her lower lip. "I don't know what I'm saying here."

"Okay."

"Last night, you said…I just," she hesitates. "I don't want to be your first one night stand."

He extends a hand to cup her cheek, as if he's done it a thousand times before. "It's all right. I wasn't looking for a perfect record in that department. You don't have to worry." He leans against his car.

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean I don't want to be _that_ girl for you."

"What girl?"

"The girl that you slept with once and never saw again."

He stops and breaks eye contact because he knows they're wading into dangerous territory. "If you're saying what I think you're saying…" He trails off. Taking a breath, he continues. "We're no good for each other."

She knows she should stop, lean away, but she can't help it. "Why? What do you mean?"

"History would prove that statement ten times over. We never really worked. For reasons unknown."

"What if it was just timing? What if—"

He dips down and brushes his lips against hers softly. Disconnecting them once again, he continues to hold her close. From the outsider's vantage point of observing them, it would seem like they were lovers just saying goodbye for a day or two. But in reality, they're far from that. He whispers gently. "Rory. You're not looking to be with me."

She begins to get irritated. "I'm not looking, or _you're_ not looking?"

He shrugs and doesn't rise to her anger. "Either. Both. Who knows? The point is that we're not supposed to be together."

"Says who?" She looks down, defeated.

He lifts her chin with a gentle finger. "Rory, there's nothing I would love more than to tell you 'okay, let's get back together.' Really. Nothing would make me happier."

"Then why are you saying no?"

"Because as much as I would love to, I can't stand being hurt by you again. And I can't stand hurting you again either."

Her mouth opens slightly in protest, but she stops herself.

He tugs a nervous hand through his hair. His voice, however, is surprisingly neutral and calm. "I just don't think I can handle putting myself out there again with you. It'll only end with us hurting each other. There'll be tears and regrets and I can't do that again."

She's not crying and it's a first. "So there's no happy ending for us, is there?"

"I wouldn't say that it's _unhappy_."

She looks up, dead straight into his brown eyes. "You're _really_ saying no to this, aren't you?"

He breathes out a dry laugh. "I have never had to do something as hard as this. Honest."

"I never thought you'd say no." Her lip begins to tremble. "Maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I always thought I could come back to you when I was ready."

He pulls her back into his body once more, feeling the length of her press firmly against his own. Muttering into her hair, he whispers. "I never thought I'd hear you admit that."

"I can't believe this is it." Her voice is muffled against his shirt.

He holds her tighter, arms wrapped strongly around her back. "I love you, you know that? I have never said that to anyone else. Not yet."

"I guess it'd do us no good for me to say it back."

"Suppose not."

She balls the material of his shirt around her fists. "I do, though. Really."

He rests his chin on the top of her head. "I know you do."

She moves out of his embrace and wraps her arms around herself instead. "So what do we do now?"

He smiles through his own tears that have begun to form. "We say goodbye. We go on with our lives."

She puts on a brave face and smiles in return. "Okay."

He doesn't respond right away, taking his time to absorb all that just happened. "Okay." She's the first to turn this time and he watches her retreating figure as she walks the short distance to her car. He knows she won't look back at him. She squares her shoulders and places each foot ahead of the other. He gets into his own car and just as he turns the key to start the engine, he _hesitates_.

---

She sits in the driver seat of her car, tears hot in her throat. She's angry with herself, disappointed in them, confused because of him…

---

He can't start the engine; something in him doesn't allow it. He's afraid of what might happen if he got out, terrified of what might not happen if he went ahead and left, scared of feeling like he needs her again…

---

**AN: **Please Review.


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